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Most casual sex happens on sites like Tinder, where you’ve already “met” someone (through a photo or a location) and can see if he’s attracted to you before you pay for anything, via cash, an invitation, or a date. These sites can be a gateway drug for online dating, as it’s easy and anonymous, and might not take much time at all to communicate with someone.
However, as Emily Witt writes in Psychology Today, the giddiness is intoxicating for some people. “Somehow, the novelty of being able to have sex without obligations or the weight of the whole dating scene is just… wonderful,” she says. “I certainly understand the appeal of casual sex. I love taking my jeans and T-shirt off and running into bed, not caring who’s seeing me.”
It can also be a really great way to meet people. But, as to whether it’s good for you: It really depends on how you’re approaching it. I mean that in the sense that yes, it’s always riskier to have sex with a new person than with someone you’ve been with for awhile, but it could actually be a good thing — if it’s not in any way harmful to you, or if you’re getting emotional support from the person, you’re more likely to enjoy it in the long term.
The worst that could happen is that your expectations aren’t met. But the best case scenario is the one where you’ve found someone you really like and are really connecting with. This is exactly where a hookup app can help, because you know that you’re interested in and invested in the person — so why waste time on someone who isn’t the right fit?
How a casual sex dating app can help
If you find yourself thinking about using a dating app to get casual sex (honestly — do you really want that?), then there are some apps you should know about, to steer clear of casual sex dating scams and other weird, weird, and kooky data collection apps. “One of the dangers of hook-up apps is they can use information about your location, sexual preferences, and health to target ads and give you a smaller, targeted match,” Witt says.
Remember that hookup app match you made at a downtown bar? They may have been watching you text with your ex on your secret hookup Tinder, or talking to someone from your lunch group on Grindr. A casual hookup app has access to all of that information — and anything else the
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“In a world where I could just get laid whenever I want and call it a day, why would I waste my time with an actual relationship?” says Halpern. “This doesn’t actually mean that I’ll be single forever; I know a lot of people that have casual sex for a long period of time. The point is, I might get stuck in a casual, five-night stand.” And that’s OK, as long as it’s what you want. When you’re done settling down, and if you want to keep it casual, it will feel good. It will be a ton of fun. And it’ll only happen once, so it’s the more casual option. Is a commitment-free relationship bad for you? “This feels great,” says Dr. David Ley, MD, a marriage and family physician based in Orange County, Calif. And the payoff will feel even better. Hooking up with a new person every now and again is not only fun, it can be healing, and sex is an integral part of healing from lots of things. If casual sex is OK, why not just go for it without the strings? Some people do it in hopes that one day they might find love, or they enjoy the thrill of the chase. It may very well be that “instantaneous sex without strings” can become a life-long sexual practice and relationship, though. If casual sex is bad, shouldn’t you avoid it at all cost? Almost everyone needs casual sex — whether it’s to supplement a traditional marriage, just to have fun, or a place to reset after an emotional trauma or childhood trauma, writes sex and relationship expert Michelle Winter. To deny yourself the pleasure of hooking up is like denying yourself the beauty of nature. After all, casual sex isn’t the typical first time for many people. So it’s OK to indulge at least once, and after that, seek out the formal relationship you deserve. Can you still get herpes through casual sex? Yes. As women become more open with the facts, the stigma around STIs continues to drop, says Dr. Katayoun Arora, a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and medical director at The Breakthrough at Mass General in Boston. “Herpes is going to be more and more common because people are having more sex,” says Arora. There are five types of herpes — HSV-1, HSV-2,
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