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So what exactly is casual sex anyway? Well, casual sex can mean one of three things: casual sex partners, partners of the casual sex variety, or no-strings-attached sex (NSAs). NSAs often get lumped into the casual sex category, and are technically those partners who meet in a noncommittal way, but have no relationship expectations or romantic commitments.
The data, however, is imperfect. “How we define sex can be very slippery, and our behaviors can be slippery, too,” says Rhiannon Maj. “We all get very uncomfortable when it’s a question of ‘what is our particular interpretation of casual sex?’”
Each sex partner is different in what they define as casual sex, and casual sex is often very personal to each person. This doesn’t always take into account the individual person’s sexuality (or lack thereof) or the gender they prefer to associate with casual sex.
“We have sex on so many different fronts,” says Maj, who heads VICE’s Casual Sex Project. “Sometimes it’s not even about a casual sex relationship, sometimes it’s just about two people who like each other and just like to have sex with each other.” And that’s fine!
A 2016 study found that young adults with same-sex partners were more likely to be in casual sex partnerships than their straight or queer peers. So while there are a lot of the kind of person who just has “casual” sex, it might be that they’re seeing a lot of other people who are having it as “casual” as well.
According to Maj, there is a cultural bias about certain sex partners, including gay people. “When you really think about ‘casual,’ it’s relatively safe to talk about your own sexual preferences. It’s difficult to talk about the casual sex you’re having on a dating app with someone from my ‘straight’ community,” she says. “No one wants to talk about being on a dating app and feel like they’re being judged.”
A racy photo can be grounds for excommunication. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.
According to an article in The Atlantic, in 2016, 41 percent of adults under age 30 reported having casual sex
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If not getting serious is your desire, then hooking up isn’t just the right way to find sex. Tinder, for instance, is a dating app only for sex and hookups, and it continues to grow in popularity as people search for casual sexual encounters. As you go out and about, you’ll only meet people who are also looking for a no-strings encounter, and you might meet them online. Why it’s bad and why it’s not Plenty of people prefer to have a sexual relationship with just one person, and with increasingly open attitudes about casual sex, you could in theory have it with no strings attached. But casual sex in a relationship setting isn’t always right, according to Dr. Frank Loeser, author of How to Get Any Woman. “Where it’s not right is when you use casual sex to build intimacy with someone in your life, and you want a real, enduring relationship with them,” he says. The epilogue to Casual Sex: Why Our Culture Embraces Sex Without Commitment was released on July 18. In it, she discusses how the media and the world has changed to make casual sex appear to be the expected norm, and as a result, there seems to be a tacit acceptance of it. In the past, the church and the media have both condemned casual sex, which leads to unhealthy situations such as the rise of the modern-day “hooker” who is vulnerable to domestic violence, Loeser says. Although society has changed, Loeser notes that attitudes and beliefs haven’t, but rather, people are much more accepting now than they were before. “The majority of people now would say yes to casual sex. People have become more tolerant,” he says. Although people are more tolerant, this doesn’t mean that they are “sanctifying” casual sex. In fact, without consent, it is completely unethical, Loeser says. A man approached two women on a bus and, without their consent, began to grope them. “He put his hand around their neck, around their waist, you know, you know, that kind of thing,” says Loeser, who has studied people’s sexual desires and understands that these actions by the man did not give them consent. “People would be outraged if he committed those sexual offenses to any of their wives or anyone. That’s what he was doing.” Social attitudes have changed, but sexual tab
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